“Love is something that can be held but never kept if you hold too tightly, love is a mixture of two breathing souls that must learn to breathe in rhythm, love is like painting a landscape with two brushes, not quite knowing what valleys and mountains the other party might paint, but just knowing you have to see the finished picture.” – TWS18
Caretaker, with no carer,
Heavy heart, no barer,
They tell me life is more than sorrow and pain,
So when do I get to come in from the rain?
No matter what I do to impress,
All falls backward, a regress,
Love still a four letter word,
Lines between me and what you see blurred.
Never was asking for diamonds and gold,
Just a chance to share the light you hold,
See many unworthy suitors at every throne,
Meanwhile time ticks, and I become unknown.
Then the programming calls my drives,
From what I hear, once a way to survive.
Beaten into me how low I could get,
Angels I’ve teased my greatest regret.
Here I sit hurting myself in silence,
Last call, last act, lost child’s defiance,
This should be long gone in the rearview,
Get good, see light and run away anew.
I don’t want to be your regret,
The one who could but hasn’t yet,
If I hurt you think of the wounds I self-inflict,
Just to get to my twisted view of perfect.
Wishing it was not this all through the days,
I see what I ignore, what I throw away,
Want to sleep, not in death but in ignorance,
Mind stripped of this old pestilence.
Now make me hurt, it’s all I know,
Make me miss you every time you go,
So sorry I could not be your king but your pawn,
Still regenerating, for every dark day one more dawn.
Am I deserving of this love and praise?
Cannot see my heart through the Haze.
You see I always take the strain,
Some parts of my tired brain,
Have come to close to insane,
But ironically its the madness you may love.
Never, the madness of pain, but the madness to save.
Never, the drenching of rain, But something to stave off the dark.
Hear my heart, Broken people lead the parade,
Fear from the start, Can we drop the charades?
It’s all I ever asked from the start, are we not better than misleading games?
Here I sit, thrones at ready, always been there any way you see,
Sucked from me an early sense of worthy, now we sift hilariously sad debris.
So I can change the record on the rockola, I can somehow from broken glass inspire,
Have you ever watched me overthink, cripple myself and conspire?
Beads on the forehead, perspire when it becomes time to enjoy mine?
Only the broken know the way out with fewer bruises,
Like the wicked see well more than a good man ever uses,
Outside the norm, the tress grows its eternal roots,
Damned, you may know the vines, but not the shoots.
Guess I’m confused, why do you see light in these crumbled shards,
While I know I am getting better, it seems to come in inches not yards.
Doors I sealed shut, lessons to be repeated, meant to be for me,
Give you eternal puzzle, tease you with gold, why can’t I let myself be?
All the things we faced while it rained,
Perfect wizards casting perfect spells,
Life was not broken but just strained,
Not walls but a newborn out of its shell.
I have felt the winds,
That moved the foundations.
Nothing but a breeze again,
I need no explanations.
After the darkness always comes the light,
Balancing nicely once the moon sets,
The past made us into steel, we will fight,
Fling ourselves into future no damn regrets.
I have seen rainbows,
The prism it gave me lies within.
Fabled treasures lay at my feet,
Not at the end but at where we begin.
Let me take you to places only I can imagine,
We can live there in decent/indecent fashion.
Buckle those head belts, seats securely fastened,
This love cannot be severed or rationed.
Let me sentence you, to sentences of English lust,
Don’t believe that skin, but in the soul, we must.
Wipe off that vanilla scent of redly golden rust,
Besides truly in the inner and outer who do we trust?
Paragraphs laid out in sweet dark temptation,
Take my hand, equal now, no more trepidation.
My prowess is my head, a nasty beautiful reputation,
Don’t try to reason now, lost in bliss, no equalization.
Follow along through the once created rabbit hole,
Don’t you see your hidden prominent godly role?
If I put you in words, you’re my heart and my soul,
Now tell me sweetly, do you really wanna go?