The Reality of Being a Lifelong Social Outcast

July 30, 2016

So it’s Friday again, the weekend and worse still it is a weekend deep in the heart of the American 419204_353369678017487_824202948_nSummer, days they fill with visions of being among friends and family, enjoying the outdoors and in general having fun in the sun before the cold hand of Winter drives everyone back inside.

However, these days are not fun for everyone.

There are people who, like me, whose weekends (and every other day) are filled with watching random stuff on the internet, maybe grabbing something to eat and wishing sleep could be an all day event because for people like me it is better to be asleep and dreaming then to awaken to the harsh empty feeling that is social isolation.

It is something I have dealt with for an estimated ninety-five percent of my life and it has never gotten any easier to cope with. In fact, it has gotten worse with time…

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Serve & Protect

July 22, 2016

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From the nations of Islam to the nations of Christ,

Blood was easy, profits, no one thought twice.

Alchemy, turning Human heart to stone,

Protect your mind, the only thing you own.

 

False elections, criminals and reality stars,

A Western world living behind iron bars.

Out of the ashes comes constructed hate,

Not your thoughts, mass media lies sealed your fate.

 

They say they are here to protect and serve,

Yet let them do your thinking, you get what you deserve.

Where the hell’s your pride, your mind, your verve?

 

They say they love us, serve and protect,

They only care about saving their own necks.

Once freedom becomes fear, what’s next?

In a world where hatred reigns and love wrecks?

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I used to

July 22, 2016

year-of-a-tree

I used to be able to, not sure why I cannot now,

I used to be able to, did I forget how?

I used to take these waves like a man,

Now wondering if I even can.

 

What changed in me, what changed in me,

Just leave it be, just let it free.

I don’t need this fake misery,

And what it conjured up to be.

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Culmination

July 21, 2016

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Is this an end or a beginning, sorry I can never tell,

Pressed for time and change and I’m not feeling too well,

If you look at the ground you can see an impression where I fell.

 

Is this opportunity or more wasted energy I can never be sure,

A king among men if only I could make myself pure,

I cannot move, stagnant while the world moves on in such a blur.

 

Is this really the culmination, end of these trials, final divination, oh how I’d love the sensation to feel I’ve won in this mediation.

But ‘it’ will come up and I’ll soon stab myself again.

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Self Fulfilling Legacy

July 20, 2016

ANIcoffinHandCToday was the start of the day,

I burned your love and pushed you away,

Sadistic me, I’ll beat myself often,

For each nail I placed in your beautiful coffin.

 

Long time coming I know, I see,

Trust divine even I cannot stand me,

Don’t shed a thought, don’t pray.

Save your heart and walk away.

 

Self fulfilling legacy,

Why won’t you leave me?

You see the dawn’s light,

Yet we traffic in piracy.

 

Negating voice of the ghost father,

Why won’t you just let me go?

Always hated me for being one,

What you were above I became below.

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Wise Thought of the Day # 4

July 19, 2016

1174850_607073692647083_1374033969_n“Time never drags so slow as it does in inpatient apprehension.”

-TWS


Dolphin Talk: Fish Out of Water July 2016

July 19, 2016

Dolphin Talk can be found on the web here and please give a second to ‘like’ their Facebook page as well! 

johnny_automatic_jumping_fish

The original version of this month’s column went out the window with the tragic events that took place in early July in Dallas, when a sniper opened fire at Dallas police officers during a protest event.

Now I am not going to focus on the two most obvious issues that spring from this incident, gun control and racism, because during the four and a half years I have written this column I believe I have made my beliefs known on both those subjects.

I would never want to completely abolish an American citizens right to own certain types of firearms and I think I have made it clear as well that hatred of any sort is just not right for me.

The topic here is the loss of life, the fact that any man thinks he can peer into the soul of another and take away the lives of innocent people. It is one thing to believe in a cause or to be able to exercise your right to freedom of speech, it is quite another when an individual’s twisted sense of the cause he supports leads to murder and chaos.

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