Betrayal of the Rock.

August 18, 2017

This feeling used to disappear when I indulged you, even external minds have told me they like me so much better when we are one like this.

Now you betray me as the other feeling does not leave as I take you in, you’re the only love that stays by my side and damn you I need your kiss.

Intoxicating Toxic lovers, I know this is not right, mother forgive me but it’s true, this was the only thing ever to stay through the maddening night.

And you leave me now, like a weary partner at the door, baggage in hand, forcing me to live through the unrelenting weather beyond your cold embrace.

Unlike the others that have left me behind can you do me kindness as you exit and tell me now that the water no longer quenches the fire and smoke has been filtered out, with what now do I replace?

  • Thomas Spychalski

 


Tip Toe 

August 13, 2017

I know this part of the dance as well,

Cause my mind causes so much pain.

You cannot buy what I cannot sell,

But you know my heart and abstain.

Demolition of the past is never complete,

Human instinct kicks in, reminding.

Of the pain, I’ve caused each time we meet,

Mixing powerful feelings till it’s blinding.
And here we all are, tip toeing once more, been here before, can’t help but think of the war that has broken the ranks.

Cannot return the past to the present, long road, understandable scrutiny put in motion from a heart that loves unlike most others while my brain cries: “mutiny! ”

This time the dance will go on, this time the floor is mine.

But I tip toe on the inside as well, where the negative one inside keeps his shrine.

And we mustn’t wake him.

-Thomas Spychalski


The Refusal

August 11, 2017

These are the words of refusal,

I leave them here for your perusal.

I won’t watch you let it burn,

You’ve been upfront too long, time you learned.

 

And so this time…

If you have something to say,

In that destructive way,

And when you scream the lies…those are fighting words, and I refuse to let you destroy all the hues, leaving me black and white with no gray.

So fight me, cause I refuse, to let you round.

(You ain’t gonna do it this time)

 

I’ll fight you, I don’t need you anymore.

 

And I thank you for that old protection, years of lovely introspection, the many ways we avoided detection, at the time a brilliant invention, cause it allowed you to save the special side.

But little boy blue we no longer need to hide.

We no longer should be living inside.

So if I told you I love you, really hold you, dear, would you believe the outside I can handle, drop the guise of fear?

Because I won’t let you do this again.

I felt the pain of stabbing the outside.

 

…and I refuse.

-Thomas Spychalski

 

 

 

 

 


The Look. 

August 10, 2017

I stare past you, face locked in an expression that used to serve me well. 

Ancient protector that held tormentors at bay, made me disappear like a magic trick. 

I can wipe your smile off your face quickly, the quickest predator in the land. 

But the predators have gone home,  why does the look still hunt for prey? 

– Thomas Spychalski 


Cannot Believe… 

August 9, 2017

Cannot believe… In a world of billions I am alone. 


Cannot believe… In a world with so many open spaces I cannot find a home. 

I can’t believe, no reprise, can’t you see or sympathize,  I’m putting it all out on the line. 

And here I stand without you all, because I cannot believe and then comes the fall, now we feel the pain comes home to call. 

Because I can’t believe no reprise, I can see how you really feel in your eyes, and I’d do anything to hold on… 

– Thomas Spychalski 


Loose Cannon

July 3, 2017

cropped-72164_158788684142255_2948564_n.jpgYou say I’m always primed to fire and everyone labels me a liar, they say I never say I follow through…

But I have never seen the world treat me like they do all of you.

 

You see I help people to love and yet no one can claim love for me, you see you’re not there on the regular real time but I am always resurrected for your misery’s.

I hear I change lives, that I can do so much good, then why in a world full of people do I feel like I’m not even in your neighborhood?

 

You say I’m always primed to fire and everyone says I’m a denier, they say I know the knowledge but I never do…

But I have never seen the community, that seems to flow through all of you…

So excuse the errant blasts, I never wanted this fuse or my darkened battlefield of a past.

So, as I set in you in my sites…

And toss the ordinance of my hurting heart…

To all, I know that this is not right, but the spinning wheels of life for this loose cannon are tearing him apart.

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Sub-root Proxy Text

June 8, 2017

Self-prophesized to death,

so as I take the next heavy breath,

I wonder why I’m still swinging…

 

Aches in my bruised heart,

Thoughts broke down and apart,

So why are we still clinging…

 

And as we run the sub-root proxy text,

I can tell you, just what happens next,

internally parts of me drown inside another,

not quite sure whether to love or destroy each other.

 

To know thy enemy is great advice, but to be both the aggressor and the defender is to be cut twice.

Thomas Spychalski 

 


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