Vampiric

December 9, 2017

Such a fool was I, on those dark nights, listening to the cries of the wolves outside my door.

They could not be domesticated, my heart and soul was confiscated, now I am bitten to the core.

Then a person appeared in my window and they were full of delights:

“Do not listen to the wilderness of thought, I am here to keep you company on this cold, cold night.”

“Only thing I require is just a few drops of your blood, I mean you have an abundance, why it’s nearly a flood!”

 

So I let them drink from the vein closest to my heart, and the pain subsided with the thrill of purpose and pieces were glued together that were once apart.

As days grew to months and years I grew sick and weary of their promises and tales of the world outside my chambers, they refused to let me join in the internal life I sought, but they made use of every stolen hour they had bought.

Finally one night they stayed far longer than usual, almost to the rising of the new day’s sun:

“This is it for you I’m afraid to say, there is not one drop left I need, today is the day.”

I puffed up proud as I could, starved and angry at the wait, but the next part proved a dire fate.

“For you see today I will leave you to burn, you silly man, who wanted to let us feed, do you finally now understand?

I never wanted your company, never wanted your presence near mine, I just wanted to quench my need for blood and now its almost time.

You will be reborn then I will burn you, such a stupid plaything that you are, you said you desired light in your life so I’ve given you this burning star.

Take your mortal coil, make it rattle fine, excuse the smile on my blood soaked lips, you really thought you were mine.”

So he leaped from the window down to the snow covered ground, after that I heard not a sound.

Too weak to move because of the draining, to save my own skin I now was straining.

Finally exhausted I just watched as the sun rose over the hills, bringing a light of promise to those without ills, finally relaxed as I started to feel the burn, for some of us there are balanced relations, the rest of us may never learn.

Calm washed over me as I watched my body burn and wither, a victim of the gullibility to not be alone, everyday wants that never came hither.

Peace, at last, this was now, no worries, problems, or debates, for some of us can climb the steps to solace, but for some of us, who try to draw love from stones, it is much too late.

Thomas Spychalski 

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Tearing Veils

December 5, 2017


Out and out and all they must think from what they know of me I’m blind,

Tell me anything you want, but your actions leave me far behind,

Inflate me with what I come to find is just hot air as you know I’m deflated,

As if I can’t read the signs, unclear mission statement and I’m then blamed for the interrogated.

So call me wicked but I’m tearing veils again,

You think because you drop a penny now and then,

That I should be all right, fine with another no thank you and goodnight,

And expect me to hide this expression, from the hurt of your unspoken confessions,

Did everyone think me getting better would somehow kill my vision?

As if I cannot see my place in every made and unmade decision.

So go on blow more smoke up my posterior,

From daily still feel inferior, so don’t claim me as false superior, you might live in the exterior ape-like, a land of social cases but I reach for the ulterior between the lines of those cloistered social graces.

Trust me when I say I don’t want to see the same old tired story as my life narrative,

About where I weigh in your hearts, I hate the sum of the final comparative,

Sorry, I can’t sit here like before, good little boy, corner now, wait your turn,

I tear these veils apart again as the truth material makes me allergic and then I burn.

Thomas Spychalski 

 

 

 


Wise Thought of the Day # 10

December 3, 2017

Just as applicable to writing as to life…

“But don’t damn me when I speak
A piece of  mind
‘Cause silence isn’t golden
When I’m holding it inside
‘Cause I’ve been where I have been
And I’ve seen what I have seen
I put the pen to the paper
‘Cause it’s all a part of me.”

-Guns ‘N Roses: Don’t Damn Me


Games

December 2, 2017

Maybe it’s just the season, maybe it’s the wait,

Maybe it’s the way every time I put my foot down for my own needs, it blows up in my face.

Maybe it’s the daily loneliness and the real life lonley I never escape,

Maybe it’s every good feeling gets rejected or it’s all the mental do good for me but fuck you rape. 
Again I’m starting to feel I don’t wanba play this game no more,

I’ve pulled myself up a million times, I’ve seen those hopes crushed before.

I don’t wanna know anyone but my mind will no longer stay silent in solitude,

I don’t want the love card no more, I always end up alone in some unknown ineptitude.

Please take these playing pieces right out of my hands,

I never get to play, only can watch from the stands.

And in the end they blame me…

For the way this game is and shall be…

But before you judge, just you see…

I’m only playing from the crooked deck you peopke always gave to me.

So why not just finally fold, just tell me it finally means peace and mental serenity.

-Thomas Spychalski


Nothing For You

December 2, 2017

I stood beside the prophet, even though he and I were the same, but even he didn’t want me, did not even know my name. 
I asked him why I am so alone, why am I so hated, he told me to look inside myself, said I did it was overated. 
I went to a lady who sold her feminine wiles, I tried to figure out what was wrong with me, no love or contact for miles. 
She told me I was light in the coin purse, told me like all to get loved I must pay, said I figured as much, seems all love works this way. 
God oh god I’d give you anything just for one good day away, but as days pass and I’m alone and on my ass, I wonder if it is just to empty skies I pray. 
Voice came out of nowhere, said the world he made was cruel, he said he was ashamed, because here it is the weak who rule. 
So I guess I’ll just pack it up, ride out, by the way it’s not been much fun, but I’m so tired of waiting for basics, and I think I’m just about done.

-Thomas Spychalski 


The Party Heard Round the World

November 28, 2017

There is a gathering around the globe tonight,

They are dancing in the bonfire’s light.

Here you see the massive congregation,

Different fires as groups and families find their stations.

 

While I’ve been left out in the rain too long,

Even changes denied, sold for another song.

The weights from the beating venues keep me grounded,

It’s known that this fire burns, and so he expounded:

“I can hear it outside my earshot,

I can see it surround me.

Waiting for inclusion, wait, I think not,

All it does is chase me, hound me.

 

Rather memory loss than the exclusion,

Blinders if not this season they find impearled,

To me, it’s nothing but dates of teased illusion,

For these are the times of the parties heard round the world.”

Thomas Spychalski 

 


Forgivness, Pride, and Other Jesters

November 21, 2017


Ain’t it a shame when shit just goes this way,

Something was torn, something fractured, something burnt badly.

Things you must fight for, but you will pay,

One thing Trusted, two things abused, three things madly.

 

I want that forgiveness however it comes,

Because in the end, it’s always the ones,

That save your life,

It’s always the ones,

That you kiss and kill twice.

That means the most, deep in longing,

That is the muse of the songs,

Still, however, we now gotta have standards of action,

Petty souls and thoughtless distractions,

Not ashamed of my words of action,

But rather how I decided to be bold,

Yeah, this shit gets old,

Just sorry for the way my truth to how I felt was told.

Ain’t it a twisted old bitch when gold tarnishes,

Mined it out, sold it off, bought the lot.

Pride is the devil in the center of us all,

Maps burned, treasures yearned, ‘X’ stirs the pot.

Thomas Spychalski 


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