Random Poetry Break

During the Summer/Fall of 2012 I went through quite a lot. As a result a lot of the blogging/writing stopped as I faced facts and moved from TX to IL.

I published three random poetry thingys during that time on this blog that were therapeutic at the time, but deserve to be consolidated in one post…still raw as they were when I wrote them, but I dare not delete them either.

August 14th 2012:

Torn Apart:

Rain keeps dropping and these tears keep falling, just wishing it would go away.
Found a new mission and discovered a new position, wish I could stay focused that way.

And the night comes soon, and with every moon, I get better and better but still for tonight…

I’m torn apart…a little wore out at the seams..
I’m torn apart…but this time I won’t forget my dreams.

Thoughts keep popping but I ain’t stopping, I can’t say say much now, no matter how I feel. But memories surface, my mind reverses, I can’t stay here now, this is no longer real…

Still torn apart…haunted by the past
still torn apart…but this too shall pass

I wish I could tell you how I hate you, but still probably hold you deep inside, I wish i could say how I faked you, but that would just diminish my pride.

Your not torn apart..how could this be
Your not torn apart…did you think so little of me?

But just as the rain will stop falling this pain will stop calling, but for now your still here, and I can’t help but tear because everything I thought I held dear has gone away again.

I’m torn apart..this much is true
I’m torn apart..oh is it me or you?

You make plans for years, share all your fears, dry all those tears and always stay near…
Now I’m alone, your a bitch on the phone, and the sunshine I had turns to gray tones…

Torn apart…what a living hell
torn apart..but I’m forced here for a spell.
Torn apart…well what can you do?
Torn apart..its no longer me and you
Torn apart…but one day you’ll see
Torn apart..it wasn’t all on me

Copr 8-2012 Thomas Spychalski

August 28th 2012:

Escape the Fate (Open Door)- Thomas Spychalski

Fly away, leave it all behind my friend but,
Don’t you stay, where it all will kill you and just,
walk away, try to find the meaning and just,

Yell and pray, there’s no time to waste and weBeen here several time before,
but it never meant much more…
A line between love and hate,
Escape the fate and,
try to wait, for another open door.So…Cry today, these things you leave are real and,
don’t just play, saying that you’ll fix the leaks that
pull your way, I can’t sit here idle dying
another day, you will see I was not lying, I’ve…Been here several time before,
but it never meant much more…
A line between love and hate,
Escape the fate and,
try to wait, for another open door.

So…

One more time, try to get out there somehow,
Find the rhyme, one more thing you can be glowing
it’s a crime, that people are so cruel, but you know that,
continue to climb, its for you and no one else, you’ve,

Been here several time before,
but it never meant much more…
A line between love and hate,
Escape the fate and,
try to wait, for another open door.

So…

Find the rhyme, continue to climb, escape the fate, try to wait, walk away, another day and we will find the open door…

Last Poem Oct 4th 2012:

So the night it rises again, except now and then, I am fighting on the cheap, why does the wound cut so deep…

And its not even like its about love anymore, but rather a matter of who I implore, when someone you know and once did adore, would disown you, try to stone you…

I guess this is just another day, like any other day, but for the first time I feel kinda old, for the first time I feel kinda sold.
I can see that I’m in my own way, but I can’t seem to get the positive to stay here long enough, sometimes I feel I’m not strong enough.
In my own way, can I make the real me stay, the one that lets go of all of the pain, the one that clears away all the rain…
In my way can I break new ground, in my own way will I soon be sound of mind…and I don’t mind…

You see I’ve been here before, I’m not sure if I can close or open this door, admitting fear, far or near…

And it’s not even like I want you back, you are so unattractive, when your heart when retroactive and slayed me and I still delayed me…

I guess this is just another day, like any other day, but for the first time I feel kinda old, for the first time I feel kinda sold.
I can see that I’m in my own way, but I can’t seem to get the positive to stay here long enough, sometimes I feel I’m not strong enough.
In my own way, can I make the real me stay, the one that lets go of all of the pain, the one that clears away all the rain…
In my way can I break new ground, in my own way will I soon be sound of mind…and I don’t mind…
Tonight there is no chemical escape, and this part feels like a slow mental rape, one thing lost and I thing I negate, when I’m in my own way…

So soon it will be day again, and I have to face the world my friends, with a lie
and a show, I will know…

Everyone says give it time, well I can’t I’m stuck in the grime, losing feel, why should it have to hurt to heal?

I guess this is just another day, like any other day, but for the first time I feel kinda old, for the first time I feel kinda sold.
I can see that I’m in my own way, but I can’t seem to get the positive to stay here long enough, sometimes I feel I’m not strong enough.
In my own way, can I make the real me stay, the one that lets go of all of the pain, the one that clears away all the rain…
In my way can I break new ground, in my own way will I soon be sound of mind…and I don’t mind…

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