FOW June 2016:
Sometimes you may have noticed that I use this space to muse on the Human condition, be it through personal trials and victories or just observations of what we all experience throughout our lives in general.
Lately I have been thinking about the importance of the culmination of certain milestones and journeys in our lives and how those journeys can effect us in our day to day lives and interactions with others.
More then anything I have thought about the importance of knowing where an individual is as far as his or her personal journeys in life as well as any unfortunate circumstances that may have befallen them.
One cannot expect a person who just had a major romantic breakup to be instantly open to offers of romance and you cannot expect a star athlete who just had a career ending injury to automatically know what they are going to do for a living right after the injury occurred.
Because they are only just starting to accept and think about the ramifications of the events that took place and like anything else, especially anything with an emotional impact, you cannot expect for Rome to be rebuilt in a day.
Looking at daily life through this lens leads to being able to remind yourself that being able to spot which kind of path another person is on and how far along they are on it can lead to a better understanding of that person’s actions and allow you to better handle many different kinds of interactions.
If someone such as your spouse or even your child has had a bad day, it is wise to reflect on how you would feel if you got a flat on the way home from work and then the spare had a hole in it, too, or how you would feel if some kid in your class made fun of you.
Of course, like most other good things, this effect can go both ways but in able to get those around you to be on the same page as yourself you’re going to have to be both honest (with yourself first and then others) and able to communicate your ideas and feelings effectively without resorting to mild manipulation or exaggeration.
All of these things are skills of course, just as much so as playing the guitar or doing yoga, and as such they take practice and determination to really feel the full positive effects.
Being tolerant in such a way also means being able to sense when a situation or interaction is seemingly (and sometimes only temporarily depending on the situation) a lost cause and that pushing anything further or remaining engaged with that individual would only be a negative rather then a positive.
This is because, quite simply, you cannot let the few bumps in someone’s path ruin you walking along your own.
Similarly you cannot expect the world to bend for you because the coffee place was out of cheese danishes this morning.
Science says that the way to unlock this positive approach is to be mindful of your inner thoughts and moods and how they project outwards and much like the skills mentioned above and countless others, achieving this can be hard because you never know how many ways your brain was negatively influencing your actions via a series of reactions to the events around you.
In my opinion, doing this kind of approach to life, being mindful of where others might be from day to day and moment to moment, makes everyone’s path easier to walk in the end.
And isn’t that what we are trying to really achieve as a society anyway? Helping each other along to build a more vibrant future?