It’s been hard I ain’t denying,
And I’m sorry for all the whining,
But these years have been trying,
If I say I’m ok I’ve been lying.
Lonely days and lonely nights,
Is there anyway that this gets right?
Sometimes too drained to fight,
Lost in the grey no dawn’s light.
However the most pain I feel,
That I will now sit and reveal,
Is waking up to that empty feeling,
It’s just another day in solitary and I’m reeling.
Don’t want to wake up, once I do,
My mind is stuck in loneliness true,
I’d trade you anything, everything,
Just to leave behind this feeling.
I try and tried but no one came,
Damn it I’ve never been good at this game,
I don’t care bout fortune or fame,
I just don’t wanna be alone, lose my name.
If you never had to deal you won’t understand,
To live a life alone is no upper hand,
Can’t weave a life without strands,
I’m sorry I’m toxic but I’m only a feeling man.
It’s been days since I’ve heard another’s voice,
Weeks since I’ve left my cage and its not my choice,
I just wanna know I’m viable,
But friendship or love seems not supply- able.
I could go on for many ages,
About the lack of players on my stages,
I’m truly sorry for the rants and the rages,
But this book has so many missing pages.
I guess this is the same as when I was a boy,
Reach out, reach in still find it destroyed,
My God I’m so sick of this void,
I’m just looking for people but they all avoid.
So I’ll write a couple last lines here to see,
I’m so sorry life comes with so many social fees,
Waking up empty I feel the disease,
Beg the sky to help me, mold me please.. But not even a tease of the sweet cup that is my own species society.
– Thomas Spychalski