If you want another top ten based on Donny, click here.
10: Any birthday ‘dinner’not on the McDonald’s value menu.
9: Asylum.
8: For any other man to jump out of her birthday cake.
7: Another ‘Russian Probe’ rather than shrunken American sausage.
6: Access to Michelle Obama’s ‘speech vault.’
5: A cure for Stockholm Syndrome.
4: Armor against those monthly ‘stomach rashes’ from sex.
3: Ruby Slippers.
2: Divorce.
And the number one thing Melania wanted for her birthday was:
“A stable penis.”
-Thomas Spychalski