Broken Gambit

September 12, 2019

Truth cannot be told,
Wanna see the scars?
Inside out, like inside sin,
House lights, let’s begin.

Magick tricks, long-dead mage,
Can you feel the spell?
Wands broken, words spoken,
Fear as a tarnished token.

Guarded gates here,
I live behind, come in?
Bent out, what is straight,
Never knew, does it feel great?

Light is not this dark,
Wanna turn it all on?
Cul-de-sac, wrong turn,
Cannot learn, let it burn.

No ways to find love,
Caring has gone away,
Don’t wanna stay, cannot play,
No matter what moves I make, I just pay in full.
Thomas Spychalski 

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To My Door

September 10, 2019

They make it seem so easy,
On TV and movies,
Make it seem so simple,
In collected dreams.

Now, but I don’t wanna be sleazy,
But can I draw it to me,
No desire to be a monster,
No nightmare times.

Is there any way to bring love to my door,
Some way my heart don’t hit the floor.
Someone out there who can understand,
How to bring the good back to this man?

Anyone who can?

From shining Knights to tragedy strikes,
Of all the great written romances,
Never seem to grace the keys I hit on,
I’m always throwing away the pages.

All morning until all hours of the night,
Loneliness stares and reminds in glances,
Sleep for one gets so hard sometimes,
I cannot rest and too afraid to fantasize.

Is there any way to bring love to my door,
Someway my heart don’t hit the floor.
Someone out there who can understand,
How to bring the love back to this man?

Anyone who can?
Anyone with a plan?
Anybody who will stand by me tonight?
Thomas Spychalski 


East of Survival

September 5, 2019

Maybe somewhere off the coast of this misery,
There lies someplace to find, someplace to be free,
However logic persists, how soon we forget,
What exists in other’s lives never exists for me.

Maybe better off sailing from this black water bay,
Where love does not blossom, good does never stay,
So if I cut the rope let myself drift on out to sea,
Then could I find peace, perhaps only when I’ve finally gone away.

They say somewhere East of survival,
Roads are paved with smiles and joy.
Forever trapped inside, my own best rival,
No end in sight for the plight of one more broken boy.

Somewhere East of survival, where our path never treds…


The Speech Before the New Storm

August 27, 2019

If I do it out of a little guilty love and pure survival, Then what the hell does that make me?
Still, the man hollow, not feeling any love.
I have kept my soul pure, even when insane, When is enough to satisfy any of you at all?

And finally, a place to rest this bruised rarity inside unknown.
So tell me where is the justice and paying karma for service rendered, And where are those deep connections, of loyalty and love?
Anything to return, all the good I have done?

It’s cold here in the land of secrets and hidden stories, Been so long since I could lay my guns right down next to home,
Sorry for the clinging to some outside, for pieces missing never found.
In the end, all just words on a screen, small vent, for a gaping hole, How could someone be so special and so destroyed, a query I hope you do not know,
And as I pick up more of others burdens, no one to hear my back cry out again…

…did I mention it was and has been lonely here, carrying all the weight alone?


The Fix Is In

July 29, 2019

They want me, but only with the fixes,
Nevermind swollen walls shrunken by me in you.
Say it twisted, I guess the fix is in,
Only as good as what you give away.

Funny how they need all the ducks in rows,
Nevermind the birds you never bring to the shore yourself.
Labeled with that same broken label maker,
That you won’t let them use on you anymore.

Serious how badly I am expected to fly,
Nevermind all of you still stuck in the rotten nests.
I guess only decent if we can take all that strain,
With no one to ever tie that broken noose around your heart.

Hilarious how we call no one, anyone weak,
Ones who has seen trenches bloody most would die in,
Imitate a hero if you can smile and kill again daily,
Be true to the rhythm and the code, call out the false idols.

Again.
Thomas Spychalski 


Status

July 25, 2019

Afraid to sleep, because of waking,
Terrified to love, due to all the breaking,
Forever rain, always find myself wet and shaking,
Afraid to give, when it just becomes someone taking.

Forget to meet you, because someone’s always faking…

Cannot cry out, because there is no one to hear,
Teardrops, eyes glisten, but you cannot ever see clear,
You want affection deeply, but all you can reach is just fear,
Inside we praise the ghostly, things far away but always near.

Once inside you, it strangles all you ever held dear…
Thomas Spychalski 


Ghost-Man

July 20, 2019

I’m the ghost that’s deep inside you,
I’m the ghost inside your head.
I’m the ghost that always denies you,
I’m the one who makes you feel dead.

Like that one time, you were hurting,
Feeling you could not go on.
I’m the one who cauterizes you,
And you’re my pawn.

You can try and run away now,
Runaway and try to hide.
I’ll be in the shadows waiting,
Waiting to strip your pride.
——————————————————
Well, we need a little exorcism…
Right here, right now…
you see its only invisible chains that bind me,
I’ll get free somehow…

The man you are today is not who you will be tomorrow,
Despite the pains and bullshit sorrows.
you cannot sit in those old losses and sorrows,
Cause that is where the Ghost-Man hides.

Get out, be gone, free from your evil curse,
Despite the fear and uncertainty,
living without you could not be worse than this.
————————————————————
I’m the one who always controls you,
And now you want to fight?
I’ll just wait till your at your weakest,
And then I’ll strike.

So many pressures in this man-made world,
I’ll use them like I always do.
I’ll wait till something shatters,
After all, it’s always been just me and you.

How dare you kick me out,
Of this which is my home.
I’ve taken you through nightmares,
You cannot roam.

I’ll make you control and hate,
You’ll push the good away.
I’ve been doing this so long,
Don’t you know I’m in control every day?

—————————————————-
Well, we need a little exorcism…
Right here, right now…
you see its only invisible chains that bind me,
I’ll get free somehow…

The man you are today is not who you will be tomorrow,
Despite the pains and bullshit sorrows.
you cannot sit in those old losses and sorrows,
Cause that is where the Ghost-Man hides.

Get out, be gone, free from your evil curse,
Despite the fear and uncertainty,
living without you could not be worse than this.
————————————————————

I’m stronger than this spirit, this thing buried deep inside my mind,
If he thinks he’s staying this time, I think I’ll turn the tide.
Always you have been there, telling me that I’m no good,
You caused strife and strain and I’m tired of this ride.

You always told me everything the wrong way, I’m afraid your opinion is wrong,
I’m exorcising you tonight, here today and tomorrow is gone.

I’m the ghost that was deep inside you,
I used to reside in your head.
But now I cannot deny you,
Because you’ve made me dead.
Thomas Spychalski 


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