A Very Lonely Place

September 10, 2016

28168_553140128040440_1421458434_nMisunderstanding, but you don’t get what it’s like.

To live and die in your own head, and be lonely every night.

Reach out your heart, a hand, rejected every time.

The world is full of love they say so where is mine?
Drifting inside, a very lonely place,

Can’t figure out the damage is it my life or my face.

It’s been this way for as long as I can recall,

No point to feelings when all they do is stall.
Lonely I am…

Loneliness I shall be…

No matter what steps I take…

The world seems to have nothing for me…

Read the rest of this entry »

Love, Hate, Redemption

September 9, 2016

168542_179581695396287_100000333747432_466736_5310900_nGuide me to answers, for why my crown is faded,

Lead me to reasons, why my heart is so jaded.

Normalcy seems so far-fetched, out of reach,

When nothing connects, cannot hear the words you preach.


Love, hate, redemption,

Walls, barbed wire heart, protection.

Look around, no one has my reflection,

When good things falter, infection.


Lead me to waters, I need to drink deep,

Rivers run dry, heart moans, stomach leaps,

Same old song, same old moves, cannot dance,

Wanting, wasting, forever guessing, what’s the chance?

Read the rest of this entry »

Like Clockwork

September 9, 2016

10329669_748016928552758_1804625525937412375_oA million things to say, the words fail and then they wither away.

Silence deeper than the depths at which wise men pray.

Things rise and fall in time, self-caused clockwork.

Lessons I forget each time the heart irks.


A journey of mind and yet now I feel inept.

Secrets are not hidden nor are they ever kept.

Bursts of jealous fire, the oceans that they swept.

Reflection of the destroyer eternal and so I wept.

Thomas Spychalski

Waking Up Empty

August 7, 2016

book page

It’s been hard I ain’t denying,

And I’m sorry for all the whining,

But these years have been trying,

If I say I’m ok I’ve been lying.

Lonely days and lonely nights,

Is there anyway that this gets right?

Sometimes too drained to fight,

Lost in the grey no dawn’s light.

Read the rest of this entry »

That Old Wet Dog Feeling

July 16, 2016


Tired of that old wet dog feeling,

hate the way my fur mats down in the rain.

Loathe the way my howls are muted by thunder,

and the lightning just alights my disdain.


Tired of my paws aching,

From paths I’ve walked before.

Tired of no packs taking,

When I’m scratching at their doors.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Man With the Straw Heart

January 7, 2016

163628_184781778209612_7680246_nThere once was a man with a straw heart who loved the people around him more then he could fathom and certainly more then he wanted to most of the time.

He saw their attachment to the material world, saw how they cared more for personal gain and trinkets then the people around them and although it filled him with fire, fire enough to burn his straw heart for only a moment at a time, and then he forgave them.

The man watched as love and friendship were tossed aside on arbitrary conditions of survival no longer needed, saw them cling to damp perverted animal skins like the caveman clung to the torch to scare away the night and sighed.

For him his love of the world was a mystery; to him the world was cold as ice, no one wanted to know him, no one could get close to the toxic strands that fell from his straw heart, weeping like a wound.

In reality this was only his love of all around him pushing the infection out, cleansing it and protecting the gift he had, which was the gift ever boy receives but a ‘man’ soon forgets.

Read the rest of this entry »

Why I Am a ‘Grinch’ Come November

November 7, 2015


I hate Christmas.

Not because I hate the actual religious holiday itself, I have a great respect for the teachings of Jesus Christ and admire him as a prophet who favored love over hate and tried to teach the world lessons that stood the test of time till this very day.

Not entirely because of my version of the ‘holidays’ either, which since about 1988 or so, consisted of either working every holiday only to seethe with jealousy serving people who got to go home to family and friends while I got to go home to an empty space or sitting alone in said empty space nine times out of ten.

Those feelings might have indeed escalated my disdain for the day, it is never easy to be on an island when everyone else is on the main land, laughing and cheering and receiving kinship.

It is because in today’s world we have taken the date of the birth of a great prophet and turned it into a marketing ploy. Granted they have stuffed the free concept of love in six dollar ‘Hallmark’ cards on Valentine’s Day (which guys you better buy something or pay for it later-brilliant marketing I give you that) and turned almost every other major Western holiday into a candy makers wet dream, but for Christmas they turn the dials up to eleven.

Read the rest of this entry »

%d bloggers like this: