Where My Heart Lies

September 15, 2017

Tonight was an apex moment, I feel them I do, not like a million other moments, I can feel them true. 

From Here I can feel the great swelling of change for the cause, I want to be that person my angels see without pause.

I stumble but I try and I don’t want to cause the angels more pain, but always but that little hard twist of my rain. 

Where My Heart lies is with you, what can I do? I’m picky with affection and deep love, yes it’s you, both I’m speaking of, cause I don’t play games when it comes to the only truth of love.

Doesn’t mean I wanna chase you, doesn’t mean I don’t see the wreckage after my storm, doesn’t mean I’m a fool but tell me truly angels, can I repair what I’ve done with you, can I reform?

Don’t want to hurt you again, I know what you see, know what you miss of me, the golden fruit that delights you, hiddin in my tree. 

Want to return so bad, fuck pride I need you two to be here, but I also need to see the love already given, ditch that old fear. 

Can you hear me my two angels, screw our human stupidity I love you both and you love me, as said the word don’t come cheap with me, I’ll always be here for my angels no matter what.

Fuck defining definitions for people you hold dear, I cry again love to you tonight on the edge of another dawn, I do want that bond I ignored back, but I’m afraid I’ll make you a pawn.
But from here, I’m willing to try if we do it right, tell me my two angels, can I heal what I’ve done…I miss you.

-Thomas Spychalski 

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Music: New Morning (Start Over)

September 14, 2017

Should be getting to posting four new tracks (Paralyze, Best in Show, The Destroyer and If He Could See, not that that matters to anyone at this point lol) between now and the end of 2017 and have a few more past recordings to post before then for this section and as this one has a backstory might as well start here, as there are three completely different versions of one song, for reasons to become apparent shortly…read on.

 

New Morning (Start Over) was originally written and conceived on one particular morning in the Spring of 2002 I will probably never forget. Having romance troubles (Which is the same subject matter as Hearts in Shade, written one week prior) and not being able to sleep always get creativity flowing in my experience music wise.

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Somewhere (But Not Here)

September 14, 2017

Out here in the middle of the confusion,

Growing pains, birth of evolution,

So real or is it just an illusion?

 

Somewhere, someplace there is a zone,

Where the pain subsides, not alone,

All the extras, minors blown,

Someplace brighter, someplace to atone.

Somewhere, but not here.

Thomas Spychalski


The Truth, The Lies, No Secrets Required

September 13, 2017

Truth is I could rule this place, truth is I’m the king.

Truth is I’m your lover, with a drug laced sting.

Truth is you love the man, stuck inside me, truth is you can see the greatness, but just beside me.

 

Truth is I am the monster now, the devil shakes cause I’m too cruel.

Truth is I’m the fallen angel, Eating dead things like a ghoul.

Truth is you love me but you hate me, you adore me but negate me.

 

And as the truth of things grows (I put it into motion)

As we think around again (I get quite the notion)

The truth of things burns us down inside.

Thomas Spychalski 


Escape Fantasy

September 10, 2017

When I was just, little more than a boy,

When all the world was chaos and down,

I used the greatest gift given,

To kill the sound.

 

Fantasy of real life,

Just to escape the strife,

To never pick up the knife,

But to lay it down.

 

Years go by and now it’s much later,

I’ve become the greatest fault aggregator,

Still sailing but lost the navigator,

and what the fuck do we do with it all now?

 

Skills it gave birth to and still we’re a causality, measure our life, just by calamities and all the while we just want to feel the light…but then we set the stage up tonight inside my head.

 

Cause I can still escape this, run into the bright dark, create worlds and people on a lark, save your soul but we have to live in the real, where kings are madmen and lovely looking bodies do steal, and here I am trying to breathe alone.

The escapist fantasy in me, has made me a drone, dressed me in stone.

But one can always return, heal from the burn, spin that wheel hard, watch it turn…

And be free.

Thomas Spychalski 


Paradox Lost

September 8, 2017

You’ve seen me write a lot of words, you heard the notes, the shine, the song like the birds.

You have seen my black heart pull yours from your wreckage, I try and hold you together despite all that spillage.

 

Sadly these things you’ve seen of me, gold dust in the misery,

Don’t give me an insight to the paradox,

Later still, sound of time bomb, ticking clocks,

And all because I do not know how to feel the sun.

A paradox lost, cold in this frost, we can see the Spring ahead but my god what is the cost?

Can I please feel the sun?

 

Standing here look back at the path of destruction, wondering if feasible, is re-construction?

Have the land to build, material abounds, but what is that dark thing in these hallowed grounds?

 

Sadly these things you’ve seen of me, gold dust in the misery,

Don’t give me an insight to the paradox,

Later still, sound of time bomb, ticking clocks,

And all because I do not know how to feel the sun.

A paradox lost, cold in this frost, we can see the Spring ahead but my god what is the cost?

Can I please feel the sun?

You here to be my saviors, why have we become enemies?

Thomas Spychalski 

 


Breaking Spells

September 7, 2017

I break the logical positive, being one who has walked a path below.

Outside, people outcast me as a cloud full of rain, but they will need when the storm arrives.

Pain cascades through every bit of my existence, better I know what it feels like when the floods of your essence break thier banks, the only love I can give you understand or accept.

Hatred in mind because I despise my station as the field mouse hates being a blind catch for a hungry predator. 

Breaking the spells of this world you see shining because I’ve only seen the dull ache of time and entropy, and have yet to see anything bloom full.

Remember when the history proves it out, either way you remain happily oblvious and here I am, haunted by repeated experience, chomping at the bit that never gives.

-Thomas Spychalski 


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